The difference between 4×4 and sports car owners
Both car enthusiasts, but so very, very different. Why is it so few people are both?
Directions required to a meet
4X4 Owners
55H 5 72 828 / 54 388 288 ** (Don’t bother look it up)
Sportscar Owners
Doesn’t matter, they still won’t be able to find it without a premeet.
Weather required for a meet
4X4 OwnersDay, night, rain, shine. As long as it’s not actually radioactive.
Sportscar OwnersTemperature between 25 and 30 degrees, dry, no chance of rain, not too sunny, after 11am.
What you do at a meet
4X4 Owners
Drive. Recover. Camp. Cook. Repeat.
Sportscar Owners
Arrive at carpark, recognise nobody, spend all your time on Facebook posting about the meet you’re at on the event page.
Definition of dirty
4X4 Owners
Unable to determine car’s original colour.
Sportscar Owners
More than three dust molecules seen in vicinity of car.
Cleaning process
4X4 Owners
Rain. Or a river. Rivers are fun.
Sportscar Owners
Six-stage polish routine using canuba wax, cleaning cloths borne on silken cushions, carried out at between 19 and 21 degrees
Accessory buying principle
4X4 Owners
Does it do the job?
Sportscar Owners
Does it look good?
Reaction to panel damage
4X4 Owners
Look, frown, drive on.
Sportscar Owners
Look, cardiac arrest, frantic “help me” posts on Facebook.
Weight
4X4 Owners
What?
Sportscar Owners
NO!!!!
Dirt roads
4X4 Owners
The beginning.
Sportscar Owners
The end.
Where you park
4X4 Owners
1. Take first available space.
Sportscar Owners
1. Drive into carpark.
2. Circumnagivate park to create initial inventory of all spaces.
3. Space selection criteria:- preferably two concrete walls either side of the bay, and armed guards- well away from any other vehicles, even if it means an extra walk in the rain. – failing that, select the space with the cars least likely to have owners that would damage your car.
** I told you!!!
